Unbreak my heart

Isn't it so hurftul that when it happens it's from your own family or really not, Its probably expected.

The Joys of Public Transport

I had the funniest ride home tonight on public transport. This hot guy even said I was lovely. It was funny. What a bunch of characters.

Business Attire

Today I received 2 compliments at work at how I was looking. The thing is, I had worn this outfit before, but as I had my hair pulled back, it looked even hotter. One compliment was from a lady the other from a guy. The thing is though, I always give out genuine compliments to people, because I believe if their hair looks nice or if they look different in some way, they should at least be told so they can feel better about themselves. But when I'm looking great, particular people never say anything so I've now stopped complimenting certain people.

Feelin' so Good

I am sitting at my computer desk listening to Jennifer Lopez. I don't care what anyone says, some of her songs really pick me up and really make me wanna bust some moves :) Work was such a stretch today but I purchased a summer dress for summer that was on sale, very pretty. So that took the edge off. It was just too hard, I'm still I'll, I ache, I didn't want to sit at my desk all day. Though I've worked out what I am wearing to my Mum's 60th birthday dinner. I don't want to be overdressed. I'm worried I might be so now I've come up with what I think is THE perfect solution. OMG I'm so excited. Though I just have to go and get the jacket from the store on Wednesday. Can't do it any earlier than that as Tuesdays on Thursdays I go down to the market in my lunch hour to get my fruit and vegetables. It halves my grocery bill this way!

Boredom

I admit it. I am totally bored. After spending the last few days at home sick, resting, really wondering if the anti-biotics are kicking in. I am sitting here wondering what to look up. I am in the middle of a hair mask as it's just something I have to do. And when I'm finished that I have a lot of cleaning to do around the house as the place has turned in to an utter pig sty as I have been too ill to clean it. I also have some washing to do and while I know that will take some time to get through all this cleaning, I am still waiting for my hair treatment to progress so that I can wash it out.

I have noticed a change in myself. I am grumpy, generally not the happy person I'd just become reacquainted with and I must say, I don't like it. I want to be fighting fit again so I can start back at the gym and have my positive perspective. I dislike unhappy people which is probably why I dislike myself at this current point in time but at least I know it's not terminal. Once I get back to my health I will be happy again and if that takes another week at the most then so be it.

I've just finished watching the final of season 4 (is it 4 already) of Greys Anatomy. Once again I cried. Another great finale. I also watched Ugly Betty the latest episode 18 seeing I had time (I can't believe how they left that episode she had better choose Gio). And, I've just been laying in my bed most days. Though yesterday, I had to venture out of my bed to get groceries down at the store. I spend a lot of $$$ as I came home with a new black blazer (size 6 - YAY - I think that may be a 2 in American standards) and some super sleek blue jeans (yet another pair of jeans) that cling to me ever so uncomfortably which I'll have to get used to wearing, but at least they fit my bottom. I still need to get 2 pairs of jeans taken up, I need some shoes and a nice top which I hope to find this week at Witchery.

Computer Desk

I've just put together my computer desk. It took some time as it was very involved. Not your normal kitset furniture. You know how there is always something wrong with kitset furniture, well they included a screw with no threading!! OMG. I couldn't believe it. That's just simply cruel, but now I've got a good set up. I would have liked one a little smaller, but this was only 35.00 and while I'm not going to put my multi function unit on it (that can stay underneath my bed!), it has my phone and space for other things. It's not mega tidy at the moment. My swiss ball was waiting for a desk. I'm just so happy because it was on the floor before hand and I was getting round shoulders. The swiss ball is working really well, the height is perfect. The keyboard fits in well. I've officially been in this place for 1 month now. It's not mega fancy - not like my other places, but I'm just glad I've got somewhere to call home. I have another bedroom, but it has 2 chairs and a rebounder. I am hoping my brother will move in around August - September, but if he doesn't, I'll have to advertise to get someone in. I may even have to call the realtor this week again about the lack of hot water. Last time I called them, the lady sound absolutely disgusted that I was having a shower for over 3 minutes. So I will call the governing tenant body for our state to find out my rights before I call them next week. When I have a shower, after 3 minutes, there is nothing but cold water. I also believe it is making me sick as well. My hair dresser told me not to wash my hair for a few days as it has a treatment in it, so I might use this time to see if I can test the water. I've tried using the hot water in the morning which seemed to do the trick, but not the other morning. So I'll have to keep testing this.

Here are some pictures. As I said, it's nothing much and the place is very 70's so I've done the best I can with the budget I have. I think it will make a difference when I put some of my art work up. I just don't have the time at the moment. Hopefully by July this will be up, but I highly doubt it.

The computer desk


Bedroom (my 38$ bargain duvet) - Check out those ugly curtains ha ha!! Oh and the pillow is actually red not pink!


New jumper purchased today


I saw these on sale at Target and thought about purchasing them. Malibu cooking sauces the white chocolate one looked neat. I might go back and get them just for novelties sake!

If you're fond of sand dunes

I awake early in the morning to the sound of rain. While I'm relieved that we are receiving rain I realise how unprepared I really am wardrobe wise. I have with me a pair of size 8 GAP jeans that I purchased in London many moons ago, that are too big for me but I haven't had time to shop for some more. The only shoes I have that accompany these jeans are high heels. Nice peep toe ones I choose today. After all, I'm only going about 20 metres to the hair dresser. After the session is finished, I break out into the cold air, it dips from 8 then rises up to the high of 13 degrees. My cold is getting worse. From what started during the week as headaches and stomach issues, it turns to a head cold with a vengeance. It's time for me to sit in my town house listening to Groove Armada and wishing I was cool as Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

Dreaming

For 2 nights in the past week, two outfit designs have come to me while I’ve been asleep. One is an amazing dress and the other is a top to be teamed with pants. Both of them I’m thinking about getting made. How far I will come to that at this stage, I am not sure. I have discovered I cannot draw as well as I would’ve liked.

Want want want

I want lots of things. I'm in a new country where it's not easy to make friends. Granted. It's not I have made maybe 1.5 since I've been here. I'm going to admit it damn it. While I've come out of my post London shell, I'm really lonely. With my foot in mouth disease it's not easy to keep them (haha). But I'm so lonely. This weekend is the first free weekend I've had and I started it by yahooing my boss. It was sad. One of the guys even said to me what are you still doing here. But I have to admit, I don't say the right things and I think people get a bit oh I'll stay away from her. But I need to find some friends so I've decided, I'm going to a newbies even in july and then I'll see after that. But on the other hand, there's a few nice males at work in the building not in our company but I just can't be bothered meeting anyone.

Confessions of a sometime Cappuccino drinker

Today I had a large cappuccino. Big mistake. I have spent the last few hours in the toilet, mad stomach pains. They are just so bad. Nauseous. Body temperature rising. I'm surprised I made it home I was nearly fainting waiting for the train. Trying not to pass wind. It was simply terrible. I'm at home now. Still stomach pains. I need to do a hair mask shortly. Oh why did I forget that coffee is so bad. It certainly adds to the headache I currently have. I just want to vomit everywhere. I could just lay on my bed in a foetal position.

I also had a weird journey on the train today with lots of old men trying to talk to me. I was standing up the whole way. I just nodded my head even though I couldn't hear them.

No Gas

Now, I've never had a property that has gas before. Yesterday the gas man came to check my meter. It advised that the gas was turned off. I checked everything and until this morning, I still had hot water. That was not the case when I came home. There was no hot water. I turned the meter on but 20 minutes later I still hadn't had any hot water. So I had to go out to the gas thing - the furnace wasn't working and fiddle. Finally the gas furnace is now working. But I ate biscuits for dinner and some egg noodle. Not very appetising.

Review - Kelvin Cruickshank, Astor Theatre, Melbourne, May 2008

I’d booked this a couple of months in advance, so I was quite looking forward to an evening with Kelvin Cruickshank. I had known about him for maybe 1.5 years so I certainly knew what I was getting myself in to. That day, I read a review from a Newspaper chap in Auckland. It didn’t give a very good review in all honesty, but it’s different every time you do this, you are never sure what you are going to get spirit wise.
The venue was a bit of a surprise and it appeared his people did not research the venue well enough. The crowd of approximately 200 was far too big for this to be a medium event. It was a bit disappointing in that aspect. Kelvin admitted this venue wasn’t appropriate. But it was going to be harder for him than the audience in this situation.
The event kicked off after the start time of 7:30 – people were still coming in the doors. Looking around in the audience there was a lot of diversity. Predominately ladies - Old couples, Ladies who had dragged along their partners, mothers and daughters, single ladies. Not young hot men at all. (I’d never been to an event without at least one hot man). While looking around the crowd, I saw some people who had brought along full photo albums, soft toys. Simply crazy. I remember the event information advising no photos necessary.
After an hour of reading, he retired for a 15 minute break. The first few people he connected with, were a bit frustrating, he would give them information and they would come back and say no and then oh my brother is in the army or something like that. You could hear the crowd grown at such “morons”. One of the daughters said that she didn’t have any children then later admitted that she had a son. Which left the audience confused. Was this a set up and had she forgotten some of her lines?
Personally, I had never doubted his skills but found this audience a bit confusing. After intermission, the readings continued. Another moron but Kelvin quickly quizzed them.
He would advise every now and then that it quite difficult for him with so many people and so many spirits. He advised that everyone would be readable tonight. He explained a bit about what it was like to have this gift, everyone can do this, he went through some guidelines and had a few explanations about falling on hard times (which certainly struck a chord with me) and why you would be tested – to grow stronger etc.
I found myself getting bored in a couple of the readings. By 10:20pm, well into question time this still hadn’t finished. My train was coming at 10:29 so I left before it finished. At one stage I had to walk off for about 10 minutes (the seats were so uncomfortable especially as I had hurt my hip a few days before and my back was out due to it).
I have always wanted to attend one of these events and just recently missing out on John Edwards, I felt Kelvin was the best to go to being a fellow Kiwi. While I was very glad I went along to this event, I somewhat felt a bit sorry for Kelvin. He seems like such a patient man, even I was irritated by the audience.
Question time certainly grated a bit for me. People would raise their hands instead of asking him questions about him or Sensing Murder or anything that would benefit the audience, they would say, I would like to know about this person.. Hardly question time! There was this really funny one where, Kelvin explained he cannot contractually talk about murders etc when people ask him things but this one lady who asked Kelvin a question started off something like this. Oh I am trying to find a missing person. My friend next to me has come all the way down from Queensland to see you (what was that about I thought, I’m sure he went to Brisbane) trying to find her mother she is missing. Kelvin asks, well, she is not listed missing is she – to which the lady replied no. Kelvin then went on to advise this pushy lady that he cannot comment on such matters. And that’s something that he wouldn’t be able to talk about in such an audience and he would only do so in a one on one ready. How do we get in contact with you to do that she asks. To which Kelvin replies that you would start at Birth, Deaths and marriages. Quickly the lady responds, OH we’ve already done that. To which Kelvin advises something to the point of some people go missing for a reason – they don’t want to be found. This lady clearly wasn’t listening to a word Kelvin was saying. I mean, how sad, she got her friend to come all the way down to VIC so that she could attend an audience with Kelvin Cruickshank with no guarantees and gets nothing. Hasn’t she heard of private investigators?
Another Gem in question time – A lady stands up to ask Kelvin Oh Kelvin, would it help if we gave you a photo of the person. To which Kelvin replies no (I mean, he’d finished all the readings anyway, the event information when booking said no photos needed), she rephrases the question to Kelvin but asks the exact same thing, to which he reiterates it’s not going to help him.
The enormity of it all though really didn’t hit me until I was at the train station. I met a few people who had also left early from the event and spoke to them. One lady had worn her son’s clothes who had died a few months earlier in hoping that she would connect with him.
I do not have a need to go to any more medium events at this point in time. I have been to one, no readings happened for me but I didn’t really expect it to. I thought it would be nice if it did, however, it made me feel quite grateful about my own life. Here were 199 other people gathered at this event. So desperate to hear from their loved ones they had bought along photos, clothes, toys it was just really sad. When I needed information from a loved one who had passed, I had a beneficial one on one with a medium and this certainly helped. I just couldn’t handle the desperation around these people. I’m so empathic I just felt sad about it.

Dinner Party

Saturday night was my first dinner party in my house. It wasn’t exactly a dinner party as I normally would make them more formal. But I did provide dinner so it kinda was a dinner party.
Menu:
Entrée: Toasted Mountain Bread with Olive Cashew and Basil, Feta and Cashew Dips.
Main: Orange and Parsley Salmon with Mushroom and Garlic Risotto side of Ham and Corn Fritters (mostly for 3 yr old nephew)
Dessert: Strawberry and Marscapone Tart
The menu was received very well – the salmon was nice, as was the risotto, but the highlight was definitely the dessert. Recipe to be sent to guests at later date.

Age and Clothing

Now that I have my fantabulous figure back and also realising that I am in my early thirties, I’m having somewhat of a clothing crisis. At my local shopping mall, they have the best Sportsgirl. It’s not your typical sportsgirl store, the clothes are really nice and the displays always have me walking past wanting that outfit or in the case of this weekend, 3 outfits looked amazing. I also had a look at our local surfing shop to feel nothing but out of place. Like that would look good on a 18 year old, but a 30 year old who feels 21 again, what are the clothing rules? I guess, there really should be no rules. You should feel confident in it should be the only rule. I saw some great Cue clothes today in myer, but I need weekend clothes people, not more stuffy work clothes. I still haven’t purchased any new jeans so I’ve just been continually washing mine in a hope that one time when I slip them on my jeans won’t be so saggy. When I find things that look really nice, these days they don’t have my size which racks me off. Sometimes the size 8’s are simply too big for me. And, of course, I am on a budget. So my aim is to spend as little as possible. At present I have been layering my clothes. I’ve been finding some great bargains. For example, I found these great sportswear camisoles that are long so I wear these underneath a lovely warm long sleeved top that is either grey or black but at least teamed up, you can see colour which looks really neat. They are normally 20.00, I got them on sale for 5.14 so I got another teal and a pink one as well. I also purchased a white duvet today which I’ve been eyeing up for the past few weeks but at 129 I haven’t been able to justify the spend. Today, it was on sale for 38 so I snapped it up. But for example, my gym gear has been receiving some compliments. My work out pants especially everyone loves them. Slazenger also have some really amazing workout gear which I am loving. I also looked at dresses today as I will need an elegant dress (not black) for mum’s birthday. It’s best to wait though, it’s going to be freezing when we go there, so I’ll need a full ensom.

Planning for the birthday

It’s Mum’s 60th birthday this year and $500 later I have planned her birthday trip. We are off to Bendigo for her birthday. She has never been there and has always wanted to go and I simply just love it. What do I have planned? Well, as yet I do not have a car and probably won’t get one until summer, I’ve had to fork out $174 for total coverage for a hire car. I’ve booked a spa suite which has views over Bendigo for one night. I’ve booked an evening meal on the tram car restaurant. It’s still a few months away though so now I just have to wait. I’m so excited I have most of the 2 days planned. Pick up hire car at 8am, pick Mum up, travel to Bendigo stopping on the way as she is old (haha) visit the Golden Dragon museum, lunch, go on a Vintage Talking Tram tour, walk around Bendigo, check in for 2pm. Do other things then around 5 ish, have a spa then get ready for the Tram Car restaurant which finishes about 10:30pm, then watch views over bendigo in our hotel room. The next day we will get up early about 8, go for breakfast, then head to Echuca/Moama. Go on the paddle steamer – yes, I know I’ve done this already, but it’s about Mum this weekend. So we will spend a few hours in Echuca then drive back home for 3 or 4 hours!

Return to Oz

I’m back biatches. Well, I’ve been living in Oz for 8 months now. While I haven’t done much travelling in this time, I have done plenty of other things. I studied and passed 2 exams to get my upgrade certification, I have studied for another course and waiting for my final exam date. I have a 2 bedroom rental property which I live in by myself. I have regained my pre-london body and just joined the gym – while I’m small I still have some toning to do – my abs are not yet at perfection levels. My personality and energy levels have gone back to my bubbly (or as I have recently been told) nutter status. I have so much life in my bones it’s unbelievable. I’m looking after my body again and I feel like Russel Simmons! I’ve been going to at least 1 concert or event a month so that I am always keeping myself on the ball. This has just happened since I’ve finished my exams in February. March was Maroon 5, April was Foo Fighters, May was Kevlin Cruickshank More to come on that story) and June I think I may go to the Good Food and Wine Festival. Though it occurred to me just yesterday that out of a tourist map of the city, I’ve only done 18 things out of 48. It’s not like I haven’t been here before!! But I haven’t even been to the Museum and I was actually quite taken a back by this result. So, over the next few months, I will explore and blog about these tourist attractions. I should at least get some of these out of the way. After all the ups and downs I have experienced over the past few years (mostly downs) I think this is the best move I have made moving here. While I don’t have my own property (like that’s affordable anymore!) I’ve spent the last 6 years moving around and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I lost myself somewhere there, but now I’ve found myself again and I feel like an absolute winner.
One last thing, I just can’t believe what a turnaround this is for me. I have my life back. The way I was before I moved to London. My personality is just blooming and I love life. I know I had those down times so that I could grow stronger, but I’m starting to feel unstoppable. What challenge could be next?? Maybe finding my Arman van Helden – mm that would be nice.

New Gym Program

Today my enthusiasm has quickly left my body.  In fact, I’m not sure if it was ever there this morning. Normally after a bout of cardio at the gym, I’m energised and ready to take on the world. Unfortunately, I quickly came to the realisation that my new gym program which is mostly made of weights so that I can tone up simply squeezes the life out of me even before I’ve made it to work. The cardio that I did do 15 minutes on the cross trainer and 5 minutes on this weird arm machine thing had me sore.  The arm machine was 5 minutes but I was struggling.  Then following on to the weights, I realised that my abs are stronger than I thought but also I rule at bench dips.  The constant squatting in some exercises left me nearly unable to walk down the stairs at the gym after the 1 hour routine.  And to think I’ll be doing this workout 5 days a week.  I’m hoping to stick with it for no more than 3 months.  I’m hoping to get to the stage where I can just do weights 2-3 times a week and not 5.  But at least if I’m doing it 5 days a week, I will see results a lot quicker.  I’ll just keep telling myself that when it hurts.  A massage would be nice right about now!

Internet will be mine

I am so excited. Sometime in the next week my wireless router will be delivered and I will have internet access at home. My VOIP service has been activated. So I'm just waiting on the router. Yay, My iMAC will get a lot of use again. The only thing is that I don't have a computer desk ARGH. At the moment, my MAC is sitting on the carpet. And to be honest, I think I'd like the computer desk on the ground floor in the lounge. But I don't want anyone to know it's there and steal it ha ha. And I don't want the lounge room cluttered. So maybe, I'll just stick with it upstairs. I had a bit of an accident on Sunday. Slid and hurt my hip and the rest of my body. So sore but still so excited. There still is lots going on and I haven't even managed to blog about it. But oh well, that's set to change. I am now weighing in at 53 kg as I have not been dieting as much. I'm a bit exhausted from the fall in all honesty, but now I can't even work out and I'm set to get my new gym program on Saturday. What great movement I have. At least my doctor said I was flexible. I think that I might even start up at Pilates again when I am better. I have started dieting again today, but I don't know if I want to get down to 49kg. When I was 51KG, I looked a bit horrible in all honesty like the elasticity had gone from my face but over the past few days, I've noticed my face looks really bright. Anyway, I will let ya'll know when I have internet. I'm going to a show on Wednesday night. Hoping it will be good.